Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Oh, word vomit. In the midst of a perfectly fine dinner with the in-laws, it just hit me. "Maybe ya'll should come to our house for Thanksgiving." Stop. Stare blankly. Cram all words back into face hole. Nope, sorry, doesn't work that way. It probably wouldn't be too big of a deal if we actually HAD a house, but as of now we are houseless. We aren't even close to where we will be looking for housing! Add in the fact that we have no clue when we will actually get our household goods and that makes for a pretty disastrous Thanksgiving setting. So, yeah, big dummy moment for me. Rectification in process. Heh.

Finally, we have left Hawaii. I loved Hawaii, don't get me wrong, but I am so happy to be on the mainland again! Never has the prospect of a road trip been so exciting to me! It isn't even that much of a road trip to most, I'm sure, but to me it's been an adventure so far! After living on Oahu for three years where a road trip is the 40 minute drive to Kapolei, traveling 4700 miles to our new home is pretty exciting. We're leaving for my folks house tomorrow morning, then on to Florida. Woot!

I can honestly say that I like my in-laws, but I'm really looking forward to getting on the road in the morning. There's only so much smiling and nodding a girl can take!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Insert Expletive

Fuck. Just, fuck. There are a lot of little thoughts flitting through my mind. Every time I think of a way to express how I'm feeling right now my thoughts scatter like a flock of birds. Then the bastards regroup and make another plan to elude my ability to express them. I'm over thinking this. Deep breath. I'm happy. I'm a very happy person. My life, I mean. I have nothing to complain about. I have an adoring, faithful husband, a beautiful son, a bright future... I do stuff. I jog (occasionally. I would like to jog more). I take online courses (ONLINE! *pulling hair out* I'll re-enroll once we move [6 weeks!!]). I cook. A lot. Oooh and the BAKING (more jogging!). I find new ways to bring out the best in my budding little genius and try to teach him every day.

Yes, my life is definitely very purposeful. Damn you, society. Damn you for making me feel like I'm not as good of a person because I'm a stay at home mom. Okay, I feel better. Yes, society, shut up, I do realize that I just need more self-esteem and it isn't your fault. It's never your fault. I'm working on it. Some days I feel SO satisfied with my life. Others, I feel like I'm some kind of loser because I don't have a job. My only consolation is that, YES, I was in the Navy. But now I'm not, and I'm pretty sure that's what matters to most people's judgment. Not that their judgment matters, so there. Now I'm married to a sailor. So I'm a military wife. I haven't met many people of good character. Well, maybe a couple. Wow brain, don't overwork yourself, jeez. Like I said, thoughts, flocks of birds, etc., etc.

I'd really like to just work on giving less of a damn.

Internet, you're such an awesome listener.

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